Tales from my life as a mom of 2 sons and 2 daughters


Cheli On Tuesday, January 31, 2006

@@ I hate the clinic

NST was fine, fluid level is fine, River is reactive.

My BP is 111/70 so no worries about pre-e. Urine was negative. I gained 3 lbs so I've gained a total of 19 lbs this pregnancy. Seem to be going up and down each week now so whatever. Appointment was a load of crap.. they chastised me for not taking my glyburide even though because of how much they have changed my dose I've been unable to get it filled because medicaid won't cover it. But my sugars haven't been too bad even not having it. She didn't measure me. She didn't check his heart beat. She didn't ask me how I felt or anything.. she did however tell me that they never got the fax from Lisa Ross @@ and I told her that that was a load of bullshit because we called them to make sureit was sent and it was.. this was the 3rd time they sent it. So they called Lisa Ross and had it faxed while the doctor stood there and waited. According to the Lisa Ross records my original due date was 2/17 and even though they later recanted and moved the due date to the 8th for a number a reasons the doctor is refusing to go by the 8th now.. which mean they will NOT induce me this week. According the doctor the soonest he is willing to induce (unless something comes up on NST or BPP on Friday) is the following Friday which will be the 10th. We have scheduled induction for that date if he doesn't come on his own. According to the ultrasound the kid is more the ready now but the doctor said the only way he would do it before the 10th is with another amnio and I'm not going through that again. I'll come back next week for regular appointment. It'll be my last one.
Cheli On
Cheli On Sunday, January 29, 2006
OK so I think I either peed myself after laughing at Doug or my water broke.. I have a migraine.. went to take a hot bath in the dark while Doug went and got me a hot towel to put on my forehead.. I was sitting on the top of the toilet seat when Doug came in and I guess he didnt' see me but I spoke up telling him I was next to him and he screamed like a girl.. I couldn't help it I laughed.. laughed so hard I thought I was gonna die.. stopped laughing and sat there a minute or so.. then got up to get undressed and all.. well as I was standing up water/fluid/pee just poured down my leg.. my nightshirt, the toilet seat cover, and the floor mat are all wet.. I tried to make it "stop" flowing (you know how you can cut off the flow or whatever.. sorry for TMI) and I couldn't.. I got in the bath.. when I got out I smelled my shirt and the toilet seat cover.. neither of which smell even remotely like pee to me.. I don't know any other way to tell if that's what it is.. *sigh* HELP!
Cheli On

OK the munchkin is playing games.. I've been contracting since about noon but they arent' strong enough and not close enough to warrant the trip into the city but they are strong enough and close enough to make me quite uncomfortable.. it seems to do this a few times a week now.. for last fricken month. I know these are braxton hicks and my body's way of preparing for his arrival but damn it they SUCK!!! I'm ready to meet him.. he's ready to be born.. my body just refuses to cooperate. I go back to the doctor on Tuesday for my NST and weekly check up. Hopefully I can persuade them to go ahead and induce.. I'll be 1 day shy of 39 weeks on Tuesday.. Wednesday is February.. apparently River is set on being delivered in February.. whatever works for the munchkin.. but COME ON ALREADY!!! The munchkin has been extremely active today.. I'll have a contraction and about 30 seconds later he gets all sqirmy for a minute.. I guess it's desturbing his rest now..

I got an e-mail from my "innocent" friend from my past the other day.. she'd actually written in about 2 weeks ago but sent it to an e-mail I rarely check (not sure what possessed us to check it now). She gave me some advice on how to get some of my medical bills taken off my credit. An option I didn't know even existed.. but I will be doing it. Which means I'll have to take a 3 hour drive down to Titusville (where I lived back in 2002) to go to the hospital there and get it wiped from my credit. I of course won't be doing this until after the munchkin comes.. I think the drive down there would just about kill me at this point.. but I am sure traveling 3 hours with a newborn is going to be loads of fun as well.. Oh the fun the fun.. BUT it's a start.. once that's done we'll start tackling everything else.. *rolls eyes* I need to write the credit card companies and get the account information which is going to be like pulling teeth because the cards technically aren't in my name but they are on my credit because I am an authorized user.. hopefully a social security number, full name and addy will be enough to get them to take me seriously.. but hell maybe not. I guess if they want to see any money whatsoever in response to those accounts they'll take me seriously. There is a lawyer in the next town over that said he will handle all the legal aspects of it and barter it down to half the price to settle with for a fee.. once we are on level ground again and have our shit straight we'll figure out if that's going to be our best plan of action.. Now is definately the time... limited bills and all.. I don't dare get my hopes up though.
Cheli On Saturday, January 28, 2006
Well I am having contractions.. haven't bothered to start timing them because they aren't close enough together to warrant anything but acknowledgement that they are there. They don't hurt really just uncomfortable.. I thought for a while that it was River pushing against me because it feels like the tightening I get when he pushes his butt out or whatever but then I felt my belly during one and it's the entire belly not just where he's laying.. So I am going to see what happens.. I doubt it's anything worth getting excited over.. the munchkin isn't 2 years old yet (I've decided that's when he's coming out). However.. it would figure that this would be "it" I wanted the 25th or 26th.. he waits till the 28th-29th.. ROFL already doing things on his own time. *sigh* Off to go take a bath.. talk to everyone later.
Cheli On Friday, January 27, 2006
had an appointment today with the new doctor.. yeah... it will be my ONLY appointment with the new doctor. I got there and my records never got sent for so they had nothing to go on other than what I said. So I signed another release form and when they heard that I was being seen over at Shands they said that they doubted they would ever get the records from them. BP was checked, urine taken, weight taken ( I gained a whole lb.. total of 13 1/2 lbs). Got put in the exam room and waited for 25 minutes...

Doctor comes in.. listens to my heart and lungs, says my BP is high but won't tell me what it is because he "doesn't want to concern me over something that's probably nothing", checks the fundal height and tells me nothing, checks the baby's HB and says he sounds fine. Asks me for my GD records.. explained to him what we've been through and he writes an Rx but doesn't tell me anything else about how, when to check or what it should be at. @@ Glad I already knew this. Says he wants to schedule me for a 3 hour and I lost it... I told him I have already done all of this.. more than once this pregnancy and all it does it make me sick and nothing gets done.. meanwhile my son is HUGE my sugar is out of wack and no one wants to help me correct it. And he basically all but runs to get out of the room after saying "it's not his fault and one more week won't hurt". So I told him that I'd been told ONE MORE WEEK for the last 6 weeks and something HAD to be done. So he wants to see me next week. He wants me go for a U/s on Thursday.. I already have on scheduled from Shands.. I go to schedule the appt with the receptionist and she makes my appt for the U/s and I over hear her telling the person on the phone that I am measuring 36 weeks.. so 2 weeks bigger than I should.. I havent' measured big this entire pregnancy so that worries me... *sigh* So I have an appt tomorrow morning with Shands and an ultrasound on Thursday.. hopefully I'll know more Thursday.
Cheli On
I actually walked out of the clinic today with a smile (and tears) LOL. I had my NST this morning first thing and he was reactive.. perhaps a little TOO reactive.. LOL I indulged in a cup of coffee this morning and he went NUTS. But he was healthy. My BP was 120/75. Then I had my ultrasound.. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! MY SON HAS HAIR!!!!!!! Albeit just peach fuzz but it's hair!!! We measured everything on him all over again.. he is perfect. Estimated his weight at 7 lbs 6 oz. And he was ALL about showing us his manhood today (or as the tech said.. his goods) everytime she moved the wand there it was. ROFL so yeah we are about 300% sure that he is definately a he. Which is good with some of the strange dreams I've had lately. We got pictures of his profile, his face, a foot (toes included), his boyhood (I think I now have about 7 of these ROFL) and a picture of his hair. She said he's got a big head and long legs.. WOO HOOO. His HB was 130 on the dot. She tried to get a good picture of his face but his hand is directly in front of it splayed out and when she jiggled him to try and get him to move it he punched me and put his hand back. She said she doesn't even think he has enough room to really get his hand down (up whatever) anymore.. I was right on with how he's positioned :) He is head down facing left with his butt way up under my right boob and his knees down near my belly button. We did find out that when we feel him move most what we are feeling is the side of his leg and his knee as he tries to kinda do a frog move.. she said he's cramped and letting me know it. She tried getting him to cooperate with a few shots of different things but she decided that he is definately a stubborn boy because he could not be made to do anything. She said that this was officially my last ultrasound because she doesn't think I'll go much longer (she got a picture of my cervix and you could see it was opened a few cm).

We called Lisa Ross yesterday and they said they faxed the records at 11am so hopefully by Tuesday the doctor will have reviewed them and the ultrasound and NST information and will finally give me a plan of action.
Cheli On Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Hey Everyone,

I am having like the strangest feeling all day today.. it's like everything going on is just hitting me now.. I'm going to be a mother in less than 2 weeks. OMG I am going to have son. A little boy. A little person completely dependant on me for everything in his life.. AHHHHHH Am I ready for it? Not that I have a choice I suppose but OMG. I keep going back and forth between being utterly terrified and extremely anxious. I want him here NOW and yet I don't. I want to have him in my arms and yet I know I will miss feeling him kick and move inside my belly. This pregnancy has been amazing.. even with all the troubles and complications and crappy feeling.. it's been the best 9 months of my life.. He isn't even here yet and already he has changed me forever. He is the most important person my life and he's not even taken his first breath. How is that possible???

I want to do everything right by him. I want to give him the best of everything I can. I want him to grow up to be a wonderful person. A wonderful man. Successful (whatever that means for him) and most of all healthy and happy.. and I am SOOOO afraid that I'm going to screw him up. I seem to hear everywhere that abuse goes in cycles.. and I'd kill myself before I'd ever ever lay a hand to him but I know that there are far worse things that could be done to him then hitting him and while I can sit here to say I won't do anything to screw him up.. who knowingly sits here pregnant and says they will?

He is my life.. he is my future.. he is my dream come true.. I just hope that I am able to be everything he needs and deserves..
Cheli On Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Hey Everyone,

6:30 comes entirely too early when you go to bed at 1:30 and can't sleep because you are too hot and too uncomfortable.. it's going to be a busy morning.. we are taking Ashyn to get neutered today.. I feel guilty as hell but he's started spraying the house and thinks he is the alpha male even with the other cats outside who are used to being outside.. not a good combo.. so we're getting him neutered today. He has to be there at 7:30. Then we have to drop Linda off at work directly afterward so we can have the car to drive into Jacksonville to go to Shands. I have my NST first thing and then my 38 week appointment. Ashyn has to be picked up at 3:30 and Linda around 5:00. And we have a few other places to go today. *yawn* I'm tired.. I feel like crap.. I am so not a morning person.. neither is munchkin apparantly.. last night he was SOOOOOOO active. Anyway.. will update about the appointment when I get home

Just picked Ashyn up from the vet... he is groggy as hell but he wants OUT.. poor baby..

As for the appointment....

NST went fine.. River was reactive.. and we were worried that he had flipped upright somehow because of how high they found his HB.. but when we checked his fluid levels he was still head down. YAY!! I lost 4 lbs which brings my total back down to 16. My BP is 131/58. I'm measuring right on for 38 weeks. They upped my dose of glyburide again. And when I asked them about induction she started giving me the run around that she never said they would be inducing at 39 weeks and when I basically called her a liar she went to her supervisor and he said that they would induce at 39 weeks but that Lisa Ross (the midwife clinic I was seeing in TN) never faxed the records and with out an early pregnancy ultrasound confirming the date they wouldn't feel comfortable inducing at 39 weeks when I might not really be 39 weeks. *rolls eyes* So I filled out yet ANOTHER consent for. Called Lisa Ross for them and got the fax number... we'll see. My GBS came back negative. Urine was fine. And the schedule me for an ultrasound on Friday at 10 to see how big River is which is an hour after my next NST so it works perfectly :)

Then I got a call from my grandmother when i got home.. she bought the crib and mattress for the munchkin and I just need to find a way to go to BRU and pick it up.

Cheli On Monday, January 23, 2006
Hey Everyone,

I'm still pregnant.. just shy of 38 weeks. I'm sick of being pregnant. I'm glad I've carried him this far as it's important for him and I know this but it seems like EVERY day there is something else that makes me feel like crap. My sugars will NOT get under control.. they have upped my dose of glyburide twice.. I am now taking 2.5 mg in the morning and 5 mg in the evening. and yesterday all 4 of my tests were high and today I woke up with a low fasting level but then after breakfast it was 222. *sigh* At what point do they decide that perhaps he needs to come out???

River has been unusually quiet.. I felt him last night before I went to bed.. and haven't felt him all day today.. he did have the hiccups earlier so I know he's still alive (thank the goddess) but he's not moving which is really weird for him especially lately.. he's been way active for the last few days and now NOTHING.

Then on top of all the "wonderful" aches and pains of pregnancy.. I have a yeast infection that just won't die!!! And it's making me MISERABLE. I have now had it for 6 days.. it's not AS bad as it was but it still feels less than lovely.. I'm showering twice a day and I still feel gross. I don't sleep well because its uncomfy or I have to pee or other stuff.... BLAH!!!!!

If I thought it would do any good I'd go up to Shands tonight and beg them to take him. They are planning on inducing me if I don't go on my own before next Wednesday according to the doctors so it's not like 8 days earlier would really hurt. I'm full term. I made it to the all important date of 37 weeks.. I'm DONE! I want to be done being pregnant so that I can get back on medications.. the bi-polar has been getting worse and worse this last trimester because of the mood fluccuations that come with pregnancy and I know that after the baby is here I run a very high risk of PPD and I don't want that at all... but I can't take anything that actually helps with the bipolar while I'm pregnant because none of it's safe.

I'm trying to decide if not feeling River actually move and just feeling the hiccups and feeling like general crap all day and just off is enough reason to go up to Shands.. Doug has already offered to take me but they just stress me out worse when I go up there because they hook me up the monitors and dont' come back for 1-2 hours and then they say the baby is fine go home.. so I waste 3-4 hours for nothing.. Grrrrrr... I guess I should just sit here and wait.. I have an appointment tomorrow..

Here is a picture... 37 weeks..

Cheli On Tuesday, January 17, 2006
This was the fastest and most informative appointment I have ever had there.. YAY!! NST went perfect.. River was more the cooperative and his fluid levels were great. My placenta is now officially a grade 3. I go back Friday for another one.
My BP was 137/88 and I've gained 6 lbs this week.. WTH??? That is a third of all the weight I've gained this pregnancy to date! I am measuring right on for 37 weeks. River's HB is somewhere in the 130's. They FINALLY did the GBS today and we'll have the results for my next appointment. They still aren't happy with my sugars so they have now put me on 2.5 mg in the morning and 5 mg in the afternoons. He did say that my fasting levels look wonderful but that my body apparently doesn't like having to process foods because my diet looks perfect. He said that they will not be letting me go past the 31st and that they are hoping I don't even make it to that point. He said with my being just shy of 37 weeks (tomorrow will be 37) they didn't want to go ahead and set any definite plans but that next week when I come in they will set a date. Depending on the results of the GBS, my sugars, and my NST's between here and there and coupled with the information from Ciena's birth..they are going to sit down then and consider if a planned c-section might be the best way to go or if they want to try to induce me and see what happens. He said that 39 weeks is the latest but that it's possible I could go in next Tuesday and they decide to just go ahead and induce.
Cheli On Monday, January 16, 2006
OK so Sunday morning at 1am I woke up with really bad crampiness and contractions. I tried everything to see if they were going to go away.. nope. So about 2:30 I made Doug take me to Wal Mart to walk around.. at 4 the contractions were worse and I was extremely uncomfortable.. so we decided to head to Shands. I get to Shands go to triage and they hook me up.. sure enough contractions were every 2-4 minutes checked my cervix.. still not doing much there.. *sigh* But while they were monitoring me River's heart rate had a deceleration down into the low 90s.. the doctor decided to admit me for 23 hours to watch. So over to L&D I go and get hooked up.. that's when they tell me there is NO eating or drinking anything but ice chips while I'm in L&D and they also aren't going to let me up out of bed for the whole 23 hours because I would have to come off the monitors to go anywhere.. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH I wasnt' even allowed to PEE on my own. And River WOULD NOT cooperate for anything.. if I so much as moved postions we lost his heart tones.
Doctor comes in after about 6 hours checks my cervix again says there has been no change but that my contractions are getting stronger. She says if I can get my cervix to change at ALL they will go ahead and induce me. Fine. She leaves.. next time she comes back she says the maternal heart doctor doesn't want to induce me unless I've made significant change because we just don't know about River's lungs and the only way they would know that is to do an amnio. So I consent to the amnio.. she explained the possible risks.. it could cause me to have contractions.. which I already was.. it could cause my water to break in which case they would actively help me have him or worse case he reacts badly to it and they have to do a c-section. They set up the amnio and it took them 4 tries to get the needle into a position where they were getting fluid and not just blood. My belly looks wonderful. She says it shouldn't be more than an hour for the FLM to come back and we'll know then. If it comes back mature they will induce me if it comes back immature they will send me home for another week. Fine.. 3 hours later no one has been back in the room to tell me anything.. by now I am HURTING and miserable as it's now 9pm and I haven't eaten in 24 hours and haven't been out of the bed in 13. So I call for the nurse and tell her I want the IV out NOW and I want to go home unless they are going to do something. She starts stuttering and I explain that if the IV doesn't come out it's going to end up blowing my vain because it's been killing me for the last hour. So she takes it out. The bruise on my arm today goes from 2 inches below my wrist all the way to my elbow.. I wasn't kidding when I said something was wrong.
9:30 and the doctor finally comes in.. the amnio came back and they weren't happy enough for the score to go ahead and induce so they decided to discharge me. Said that if I have more then 4 contractions in an hour to come back. I laughed at her and said that I'd been having consistant regular contractions for 13 hours now 9 an hour.. what was the point of me going home? She said well if they get worse or you start to bleed or if your water breaks or if you don't feel the baby move. Fine whatever.
So 10:30 last night I got home. Every part of my body is killing me. I want him out. He wants to be out. The original doctor was going to just induce me but her shift ended and the next doctor bulked at the idea. I have an NST and my 36/37 week appointment tomorrow (I'll be 1 day shy of 37 weeks). If I'm still having contractions this close together the NST people will make me go back to L&D.. *sigh* Are we done yet??????
Cheli On Saturday, January 14, 2006
I think my body has finally admitted defeat and is finally letting me sleep or something. I have no idea. Everyone else I talk to had or has a hard time sleeping this late in pregnancy and therefore takes little naps or whatever.. it seems the last day or so all I can do is sleep. I went to bed at 2am yesterday and woke up at 11:30.. ( I NEVER sleept through the night anymore) was up until about 1 and then slept until 3:30.. was up until 1am and slept until 4.. I've gotten 15 hours of sleep in just over 24 hours and I feel like I could sleep again. The only thing that wakes me up is having to potty and contractions. Maybe my body is trying to gain some energy to get him out soon??? I hope???? I will be the all important 37 weeks on Wednesday. I have an appointment on Tuesday. The doctor said depending on the way my NST looks that morning we'll talk about inducing sometime in week 37/38. When we had the NST on Thursday she said my placenta is just shy of being a grade 3. Which isn't TOO bad for this stage in the game but still isn't good. She did a biophysical profile on River and he got a 10/10 which is good.. but I keep telling her that he is just not acting right.. but hey I'm not a doctor I'm just the mother.. what do I know. Ahhh whatever.. at the latest they will induce me at 39 weeks. 39 weeks starts the 1st of February. 18 days left at most.. I just want him here!!!
Cheli On Thursday, January 12, 2006

Figured I'd go ahead and post another picture.. it's me at 35 weeks.. taken a little over a week ago.

Cheli On Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I think I'm in labor.. am having contractions 8-9 minutes apart.. back pain.. lots of pressure low in my abdomen..

Called labor and delivery and they told me to take a hot bath if the contractions get stronger come in if they lessened then it's false.. got in the bath and immediately had a contraction then threw up and had another contraction and then a few minutes later had another..

OMG OMG OMG I'm not ready!!!!!! I am terrified!

Anyone want to take guesses on weight? and height?


So I'm home.. 3:30am and I'm home and contracting immensely.. stupid hospital
I got there and they hook me up.. sure enough regular contraction 7 minutes apart.. so they check my cervix.. 1 cm dialated and barely thinning... so she tells me they are going to do an NST and then send me home if it's reactive. Fine whatever.. it took them 40 minutes to do a 20 minute strip because River REFUSED to cooperate. By the time they got the strip my contractions were 2-3 min apart and pretty strong.. so the doctor gives us the option of staying another 2 hours to walk the floor and see if that changes my cervix any.. if it did I'd be admitted.. so for an hour and a half I walk the floor.. contractions are still regular but they aren't doing ANYTHING. I haven't slept, I can't eat, I can barely drink.. I am a nervous wreck and she sends me home..
I have an appointment in about 7 hours with my doctor.. will be begging her then for induction since my contrax are regular and just aren't doing anything. OK off to go be miserable and take a bath
Cheli On Monday, January 9, 2006
Had the NST this morning.. they had to buzz River twice to get him to move but his heart beat is okay.. they were slightly concerned at how subdued he is. They did an ultrasound and there are calcium build ups all over my placenta. She wanted me to see the doctor today but the doctor wasn't available and I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 11am anyway so she said make sure I keep it.. she said that she would be pretty sure to bet that the doctor will move the induction date up from the start of the 39th week to sometime around 37 weeks. If it doesn't start on it's own.
Cheli On Thursday, January 5, 2006
I had my first NST today.. baby was reactive. Looked great. We got an ultrasound and will get one every NST appt until I have him. She was able to get a GREAT peak between his legs and he is most definitely a boy.. she was all proud of him when he showed us his boy parts. LOL She said usually the babies wont' cooperate this late. I go back Monday at 9:30 for the next one and then Thursday at 9:30.. twice a week for the duration.
Then I had my weekly appt... BP was 121/66 I have gained no weight since my appt Tueday. LOL but 16.5 lbs total. She looked over my sugars and said she wants me to continue to take the glyburide until my next appointment and chart my levels so we can see if it's helping or hurting worse. I bottomed out on it yesterday and freaked. She said that she doubts highly I'll carry him as far as they'll let me because I'm starting to thin out pretty well but she did say that if he doesnt' come on his own or for other medical reasons before 39 weeks they will induce me. So that means he will be born on or before January 31st. I talked with her about some of the things on my birth plan.. she really didn't know because she doesn't do the deliveries for the hospital so she doesn't know the procedures. but one thing she did know is that they do remove the baby for 2 hours normally after delivery to clean him and monitor him.. She said that if it's stated otherwise in my birth plan though as long as the baby is healthy they will adhere to my wishes. My next appointment is schedule for Tuesday at 11
So I have appointments Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday next week.. I am so ready.. and yet TERRIFIED
Cheli On Tuesday, January 3, 2006

So I spent the morning cleaning the house, rearranging the bedroom etc.. Ate breakfast kinda late because I forgot.. so checked my sugar 2 hours later and it was 170.. they don't want it over 120.. called the clinic and she asked what my levels have been like over the last few days. I told her.. she said they'd fit me in at 1:30 and she'd like me to be there.. So off we go to Shands.. get there 10 minutes before my appt.. at 2:45 they FINALLY call me back.. BP is 117 over 78, keytones in my urine are high and there are traces of glucose in my urine. So then after that they put me in the exam room and I wait.. and wait... 3:40 the doctor comes in VERY apologetic.. says that they did get the results of my 3 hour and I tested abnormal on all 4 draws.. so they have offically diagnosed me with GD *rolls eyes* She also said with how outrageous the draws were and with my last few days of testing she is going to go ahead and put me on Glyburide.. the lowest dose once a day. She wants me to continue to log my levels each draw and take the pills and keep my appt on Thursday. She also listened to muchkin man who was rather incorporative.. kept kicking the wand so she couldn't hear his HB well.. but decided he was active so she let it go after it catching him a few times. She measured me.. I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow and I'm measuring 36-37. She checked my cervix and I am dialated a whole CM and thinning but she didn't tell me what precent.. and didn't seem concerned.
So I go back Thursday at 9 for the NST and then my regular appt is right after.. next week I'll be starting 2 NST's a week and a weekly appointment.. I am going to be living at Shands until this kid comes :)
Happy Birthday to Me!! hehe