Tales from my life as a mom of 2 sons and 2 daughters


Cheli On Thursday, May 25, 2006

It is 1:18 in the morning and I can't sleep.. the only thing I can figure is that this is a side effect of being on the Lithium. I used to have insomnia when I was in high school and I was on Lithium.. it got so bad they had to give me something to help me sleep. I don't know if this is the beginning of a manic swing but it sure would go to suit as I've been in a depression swing for months. BLAH I hate bi-polar. I took a Darvocet for lack of anything else to help make me sleepy.. we'll see if it even makes a dent. I really need like 4-5 hours of sleep before the baby gets up or it's going to be an extremely long and unpleasant day. I manged to fall asleep for about a half hour earlier and had somer f**ked up dream. I guess my father coming down next month to see me and Doug and the baby is really screwing with my head..

The last time I saw my dad he was bring Tina and I furniture for our new apartment here in Florida.. I was 18. So that was what 4 years ago? Hell the last time I talked to my dad until recently was when I was living in NC with Persia the first time I lived with her.. that was 3 years ago. And now he wants to come see me with his older sister Donna whom I haven't seen since I was about 11. I appreciate that he feels like shit for completely turning his back on his kids when he remarried and that now that it didn't work out (he and the new wife are getting a divorce) he wants to be dad again.. but ughhhhhh. I played nice and sent him a few pictures of River so he can see what his grandson looks like.

Doug called in yesterday to try and go out looking for another job with a different company.. preferrably one that will schedule him hours and actually stick to that schedule. The first place we stopped at was only hiring for people in Ponte Vedra and Jax Beach which is WAY too far for him to commute every day. The other was just flat out not hiring. Apparently they lost one of their accounts that was giving 10 people a post so now they are scrounging to find those people posts and aren't taking anymore. We did find out that there is a company here in Orange Park that posts solely in Clay County (the County we live in) but when we stopped by the HR woman gave him an application but said the area manger who knows what they are hiring for had left the for the day. So he's going to fill out the application when he is at work today and call around to other places if that one doesn't work out and see what's available etc.. If he can find another company to take a post with he is going to stop working the company he has and take about a week so we can go up to NC to visit my mother and her girlfriend and then go over to TN to see everyone.. I have no idea where we are going to stay while we are there. I really don't know if we can afford a hotel for a week. *sigh* I miss my friends there though. IF we can come up.. we are going to make sure we are there for a Saturday so we can go to Temple.. we NEED our Knox Goth scene.. we miss the freaks. However that leaves the problem of finding a babysitter Ahhhhhhhh.